True Bread

photograph (c) Katherine Brown

“For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.” Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

John 6:33-35 [NRSVUE; see John 6:1-15; 25-35; 66-69]

First there were just a few. Andrew and another followed the Lamb when John had pointed him out (John 1:37). Andrew told his brother Simon, and then there were three (1:40-42). Jesus called Philip, and Philip told Nathanael, and then there were five (1:43-51). ‘Messiah,’ we called him (1:41), the one written of (1:45), Son of God and King of Israel (1:49). ‘Son of Man,’ he called himself (1:51). We went to Cana. We went to Jerusalem. We went through Samaria. We returned to Galilee.

First there were a few, and then more, and now there are five thousand. A mixed multitude of disciples and wonderers and wanderers in this place. Come because of the signs.

‘Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?’ Jesus had said. Why did he ask? Who were ‘we’ to buy bread? How were we to buy bread? Even if we had the six months wages burning holes in our pockets, it was impossible to imagine a sufficiency of bread available to buy nearby.

Look at Jesus and try to read his face. His brows are raised with the query. His mouth is straight. Do his eyes smile? Look at him looking at us, as if he is waiting for us to catch up.

Five thousand people. Five loaves. Two fish. A grassy expanse, room for all to sit, for all to see as food is taken and thanks are given. A hush falls as food is handed around, and food is eaten, and all are fed to fullness. Sounds of chewing and sighs of satisfaction. The spell holds until twelve baskets of leftovers are gathered. Then the murmurs of sharing rise in crescendo as the people begin to catch up — ‘the prophet! the one coming into the word!’ they acclaim (6:14)— then outrun their own understanding, clamor off course, try to force kingship upon him (6:15). Do Jesus’ shoulders sag at their stubborn confusion? He was already recognized as king, and he did not reject the title (1:49-51), but he withdraws from this force, from the crowd’s assumption that kingship is theirs to confer rather than his to be recognized. The crowd wants a king who provides bread and circuses upon demand. They are focused on the feel of their own bellies full; want a reliable repetition of the same. Having been exposed to the possibility of amazement, the crowds won’t risk greater expectation. Please, just another of the same, that’s all they ask.

‘Work for the food that is eternal,’ Jesus said (6:27). The crowd mis-recognized their cue, focused on the ‘work’ rather than the food: ’What must we do to perform the works of God?’ (6:28). Did Jesus sigh? Does he sigh? All the time we were with him, and we did not know, not even at the end (14:8-9).

Trust, Jesus says. The crowd wants a sign so before it can do that work (6:30). They have felt healing (6:2); they have eaten bread (6:14); they have not known them for signs of Jesus’ identity. They mistake in saying that the sight of sign must go before the work of trust. They have it backwards: the work is itself the sign. Their trust is the thing that will open up their eyes to see the truth of the bread they have already been given. ‘Come and see’ Jesus had said to us at the start of it all (John 1:39). Doing preceding the vision, as if it must be always so: following first; sight second. A daily practice of dawning recognition.

Looking back from after the end, times are suddenly joined in my mind. Standing in that grassy place, surrounded by people who had just been fed. The sense of dawning satisfaction — the moment before it reverted to fear of future hunger — everyone there resting a for a breath in glad contentment. Like children. Replete, and slightly tired after supper. The next day, and after, when many had turned back from the offensive claim of incarnation, the discomfiting claim of eternity, Simon Peter’s voice with that same simple tone, answering for us all, ‘Lord, to whom can we go?’ (John 6:60-69).

We did not know fully then. We do not know fully now (1 Cor. 13:12). Even so we may know enough to persist in following the one who has the words of eternal life, the Holy One of God (John 6:69).

‘I am the bread,’ Jesus announces. From heaven. Of life. Bread that tests (6:6). Bread that satisfies (6:12). Bread that is more than enough for those who have gathered in search of a sign (6:13-14).

True bread. Taste and see.